Moments

It’s now.  No, now.  No… now…  and… Now.

This phrase came to me in the middle of the night last week while I was feeding my beautiful daughter, Indigo.  That’s her name, not what I was feeding her.

Anywho, as I rolled it over and over in my head, I realized that it was a subtle reminder to myself to “enjoy my burrito” (thanks @nerdist).  A reminder to enjoy every moment as it was happening and not focus too hard or get too uptight about the past or future.  Those things have already or will eventually take care of themselves.  In any event, it made a very nice moment to ponder as I stared down into Indy’s peaceful, sleep eating face.  Her face wasn’t eating sleep; she was eating in her sleep.  Hence:  Sleep eating.  Man, you sure are literal today. 

But there is more to it than that. 

Today I had a great audition.  I won’t tell you what it was for, but I will say that it was at a casting directors office and that it was two commercials that were long and copy heavy.  Anyone who knows me, and who has worked with me, knows I believe in the “one-take” rule.  IE:  you should be able to read a commercial through to yourself a couple of times and then when you step to the mic, the result should be able to go on the air with no direction.  That’s how you know you are ready to compete and book in the acting business.  Direction is always helpful, and will make a good read even better, but you should be able to give a good read without it.  What this DOESN’T mean is that you read through without stumbling.  We are all human and we all stumble. 

So, after reading it through twice to myself in the waiting room, I walked up to the mic and proceeded to read through the spots.  I am happy to say that I made it through both of those copy heavy spots without stumbling… even the heavy lifting bits at the end.  When I finished, the casting director commented that I was the first person to be able to do that since she first started auditioning people at 10 AM in the morning (it was now 2:00).  “Not only that,” she stated “but those were great reads!”

The pat on the back is nice, but we all know what matters is if I book the job or not… and I have no idea if I did or didn’t.  The spot doesn’t book for a couple of weeks.  But as I walked out of her office, I was reminded of that night last week, enjoying the moment of feeding my daughter.  I lived in the moment.  I walked up to the mic and followed the moment wherever it took me, I didn’t think about what I had just said and whether I had said it right or not, I didn’t think about the next moment and what I wanted to do with it, I only dealt with the moment I had and the words that were coming out of my mouth. 

Often, when we are on camera, stage or mic, we are constantly judging ourselves, the script, our partner or just the overall situation.  This is a surefire way to trip yourself up.  We all do it, but none of us should.  When I am directing someone I can always tell when he or she is thinking about the last thing they did/said.   Something won’t sound present and when I ask what happened at that moment, 90% of the time the answer is:  “I was thinking I might have stumbled on that last moment.”  Whether you did or didn’t isn’t important, the only thing that matters is THIS moment that is happening RIGHT NOW. 

Living with a theatre degree (or as an artist in general) makes it extra hard to live this way.  Most of the time we don’t have “regular jobs” that ensure we get to eat next week.  And if we go out into the workforce to try to find one of those “regular jobs”, we hold experiences and job skills that don’t even ensure we CAN find one of those.  That’s scary.  Believe me, I know.  I’ve been there, I am there and I will be there again.  But we can only live in and make the best of the moment we are given right now.  So… what are we going to do with that moment?

It’s now.  No, now.  No… now… and… Now.